An Unexpected Growth

During an unexpected visit from a student an even more unexpected outcome.

1. SPACE: the physical place or places - We were sitting in my new office, that is more and more coming to feel like home to me.  Yes, we have designated it as "Egypt" where we joke I have been exiled because it is so far away from all of my colleagues.  The walls are a little brighter gold than I had hoped.  I was going for something a bit warmer.  But the walls are now lined with large square black frames filled with black & white pictures of things that inspire me, and I hope my students.  There are pictures of my daughters who bring me such joy.  There is a picture of the word "dream" etched in the sand to give students permission to go after theirs.  There is a picture of a wooden path built atop water that zigs and zags, just as life does.  And the final picture is of a cross situated on a hilltop at a camp my husband visited as a child.  This intentional collection is intended to convey to students the important things in life and that it's ok, even good, to go after them!  
2. ACTOR: the people involved - Me, the Career Counselor, who has been fond of the other person for a number of years having met him very early on in my tenure at Wheaton.  The young man is in his senior year, trying to figure out what the future holds.  Bright.  Ambitious.  A homebody.  And a little confused as to how to bring together all of the conflicting emotions and thoughts he has swirling around in his brain.  Something new is happening in him - a willingness to take risk.  To go for it.  Something I've never seen before.  
3. ACTIVITY: a set of related acts people do - It's an impromptu career counseling appointment, with no agenda.  He arrives unscheduled, which now that I have my own office works a lot better than it used to.  
4. OBJECT: the physical things that are present - He carries a backpack full of school work and many of the activities he has been working on as he prepares for life after Wheaton.  My office has the normal elements in addition to the decorative pieces described above.  A strangely-shaped, hand-me-down desk.  It's really ugly and not exactly conducive to the kinds of meeting we have, so students often end up knocking their knees on one part of it or another.  There are two chairs for students, both with oversized pillows that the students aren't quite sure how to maneuver around.  A bookshelf houses some notebooks of information, a few knick knacks, some books pertinent to the work being done in the office, and most importantly, the Bible I read every morning sitting in the quiet before everyone arrives.  A lamp on the desk and a floor lamp in the corner, create a warm glow in the office, cutting through the glare of the fluorescent lights.  A computer and an assortment of other items cover the desktop and are pushed aside as our conversation begins so as not to distract me and allow her to give my full attention to the young man.  
5. ACT: single actions that people do - He squirms in his chair, avoiding eye contact during the difficult parts of the conversation.  Tears come to my eyes as he begins to tell me the story of how the pictures he has of his future are changing and how God has been showing him new things about himself that he needs to consider.  
6. EVENT: a set of related activities that people carry out - Our conversation is like most with students.  Me asking lots of questions and them trying to articulate hopes and dreams mingled with the reality of the demands of life, it's consequences and temptations.  
7. TIME: the sequencing that takes place over time - Someone from the front of the office asks me if I have time to talk with the young man.  He comes back and we begin our conversation.  It goes at it often does with him, he says something like "I just don't know what to do."  Or "I just don't want to do what everyone else is doing."  Or "I'm just not sure I'm doing enough/good enough."  
8. GOAL: the things people are trying to accomplish - My goal with this young man, as it is with so many, is to encourage him to believe he can go after his dreams.  Sometimes, as in this case, it means helping them to identify what those dreams are.  It is so often the situation that because they aren't able to articulate their dreams, they need to process all of their thoughts out loud and have someone hold a mirror up to their stories to allow them to process them in a way that is almost outside of themselves.  And though many of our students have parents who faced the same kinds of questions, this young man's parent didn't go to college.  They are making huge sacrifices for him to be at Wheaton, and he wants desperately to honor their commitment to him.  
9. FEELING: the emotions felt and expressed - 

We have been dancing these same moves for several years.  Until he shared something new.  He's been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.  And it seems to be rocking his world.  Never before have we had any faith conversations.  Don't get me wrong, I've tried, but he's resisted and trying to maintain a positive working relationship, I haven't pushed it with him, trusting that my subtle mentions of God's presence will be seed planted today and bearing fruit in the future.  But now, he's telling me he doesn't want to get tied to a career he doesn't like because of the money.  Or he doesn't want to get too comfortable with the lifestyle afforded by the kinds of jobs he's likely to have.  He wants to be certain he is honoring God with his money and being faithful with what he has been given.  Part of that means he is interested in taking more risk than ever before.  His confidence that he will be a good steward of whatever God gives him, means he has some freedom to go for thing he wouldn't have before - because now he believes God is with him!  And if God is with you, if you can depend on Him, if you are being obedient to Him, God will take are of you and you need not fear!  It's like a light bulb had gone off in his brain!  And the joy I felt caused tears to come to my eyes.  

I straight up told him this was a conversation we hadn't ever had before and I was so proud of him for the work he had allowed the Holy Spirit to do in his heart.  Not one to be comfortable with emotion, he accepted my affirmation and started making his move toward the door.  

The reality is, he's more confused than ever.  He has even more to consider as he makes choices for the future.  But now that we both know God is part of the equation, I feel so much better about how it will all turn out.  And I'm pretty sure he does too!